Angry Beavers: Stump on Surreal Life
by Harmonix
Summary: This is a work in progress, so bear with me. It is a fanfiction that starts out with Norbert and Daggett contemplating while watching television, where they stumble across the marathon of Surreal Life in which their friend Stump is on. HIlarious times.
1. Chapter 1

Daggett and his elder brother Norbert sat on the couch, watching television. "I guess it was a good thing that they cancelled us before South Park came on the air." Norbert said. Daggett smirked. "Yes, I guess it was too harsh for me to say shut up- I mean, I went to anger management! Now there's that group of kids in the snow that sit there and swear… and what happened to the reality show?"

Norbert shrugged. "Oh… the one with Stump? Yeah, that didn't really work out at all. Stump is still in the psychiatric hospital because of that show."

Daggett tried not to laugh. "Wasn't it Surreal Life?" Norbert nodded, grabbing a fistful of the fiery hot Doritos. "But there was... lets see, Ren from the show Ren and Stimpy, Heifer from Rocko's Modern Life, Patrick from Spongebob Squarepants, and Pelswick from his self titled show."

Daggett grabbed his own fistful of Doritos. "What was so scary and traumatic about that? It sounds like a Nickelodeon Reunion."

Norbert switched the channel to Vh1. "Hey, it's a marathon of the Surreal Life! Maybe that will answer all of your questions, okay dear brother?"

The television buzzed on. "Welcome to the first episode of Surreal Life! This season, our cast is an array of derranged characters! But isn't that true for every season? Well anyways... this ragtag bunch is entering the house via crappy 1980's limos!"

Day One

Ren is presently making him the most dominant cartoon in the house so far, while everyone is somehow cowering in fear. They are all introduced to their Surreal Life mentor, Mickey Mouse. Mickey has been out of the spotlight since his stint on the House of Mouse, which failed miserably- since the show was primarily used to have their children to fall asleep to. Meanwhile, Heifer has cleaned out the refriderator, thus forcing the Vh1's predetermined budget to go up. Pelswick is grumbling in his wheelchair, since Ren has already made fun of his disabiltity.

Patrick Star, who is still quite famous for the Spongebob Squarepants empire- is sitting at the bottom of the pool. He claims he is missing the love of his life who lives in a pineapple nearby. Stump is watching Patrick in despair, for he is too buoyant to swim.

Later on, an arguement erupts over the sleeping arrangements between Ren and Pelswick. "You can tell this room was meant for a person with a wheelchair, you dumb rat dog!" Ren hops into the bed and refuses to get out of the room. Pelswick became enraged. "You are just like that guy... isn't it Hitler? Yes! You are the epitamy of Hitler!"

Ren laughed. "That's impossible, you idiot. Hitler is not Mexican like myself." Pelswick wheeled himself close to the bed, near where Ren was sitting. Pelswick tried getting up from the chair, and Ren leaned over and pushed the wheelchair. Ren then laughed meniacally. "I guess you'll be sleeping on the floor tonight, you dumb bastard!"


	2. Chapter 2

Day Two

The disgruntled cartoon characters awoke the next morning to see Mickey Mouse hanging out in the living room. "Okay, now today we are not just going to sit around and become even worse than we already are." Ren folded his arms and gave a glare. " Where the hell are we going, then?"

Heifer, Pelswick, Patrick, and Stump were excited to find out what they were doing, but were left in suspense. Mickey had them all shoved into a 1982 Firebird and he drove them to a canyon in the middle of nowhere. They piled out of the car. Pelswick became sad. "I knew that I would be the first one to go! I believe its always handicapped that go first!"

Heifer was munching on some crumbs he had found in his bellybutton. It was a mix of chocolate, Doritos, and last night's dinner. "Well, what about Patrick?" The cameras zoom in on Patrick, with his tongue sticking out and eyes crossed. Pelswick sighed. "It's just mental. At least he won't feel it when he dies."

"Your legs won't feel it either, idiot!" Ren exclaimed, then began laughing meniacally.

Mickey Mouse cleared his throat, thus getting the attention of the castmates. "Today, you guys will be participating in your own version of a soap box derby. Ren, you will be riding in a a litter box." He hands a red litter box over to him, and Ren sighs. Mickey then looked over at Heifer. "You will be racing with a charred Boeing 747." Heifer hopped on happily, creating a large dent on the sides. Patrick found a used kiddy pool and decided to use that instead of what Mickey offered. Stump was given a tobbaggan without arguement.

Mickey drew a line from where they should start. "Whoever makes it to the bottom of the canyon first wins. If you die, neither Vh1 or its parent company has any liability, hence the fine print on the contract."

Pelswick shivered at the thought. "You didn't even give me something to ride in!" Mickey turned around and smirked at the child's stupidity. "It's because you're handicapped, okay? Quit your crying."

The cast all reached to the line, ready to compete. "When I say go, just go. If you decide to go before I say it, you will be disqualified. Whoever wins, will keep Pelswick's wheelchair." Pelswick became even more frightened. Ren became very happy. "Oh... I would love that."

In the end, Ren didn't win. Neither did Pelswick. Heifer's Boeing 747 blew up halfway down... and Patrick's kiddy pool was dissassembled three seconds after the race started. It was the quiet Stump who won Pelswick's wheelchair, and love the freedom the wheels gave him, and the fact that Patrick and Heifer wouldn't be playing pass with him anymore. Pelswick layed in the trunk of the Firebird on the way home from the canyon, sulking.


End file.
